Just Call me the Bird Man
There was an incident this morning that had me totally flustered the entire way to the gym. This morning, as I crept around the house at 5am to make it to the gym on time, I was a little delirious and irritated. Literally, my blackberry alarm is the most obnoxious sound in the world. It takes everything in me not to throw it as hard as possible on the floor and then glare at my husband. I don’t know why the “glare at my husband” part came into that scenario, but I can only imagine he would happen to pop out of a cabinet, because he’s always right there when I don’t want him to be, shaking his head at me like he’s the next freaking Dalai Lama. My bad, Mr. Calm and Collected. That’s right, I just busted up that dumb phone that you are totally obsessed with looking at all day. So let’s move on…. I then proceeded to head out to the car, and as I was locking the door behind me, here she comes. This devil bird literally comes hauling bootata towards my head ready for the strike. I luckily dodged the dumb thing and got out from under the covered porch as fast as possible. Thank the lord no one saw me. The look on my face was probably disgusting. I’m sure I had that head cocked back, eyes wide open, double chin/no neck look going on, trying not to eat it as I do a “break your ankle” move off the sidewalk. So when I got my balance and kept moving towards the car, she made one last territorial come at me and then I heard a little drop. I frantically checked myself to make sure she didn’t take a poo on my shirt. It turns out she didn’t, instead there was a bug in my hair. Thanks a lot Thursday morning. You’re supposed to be a good day, not like Mondays, or even Tuesdays. But Thursday, you just blew it.
